The Carnivore Lamb And The Unnatural Lion
by undashable
Summary: Bella knew this was wrong; she didn’t care, not in the least. She could kill him, completely by accident. But, she still didn’t care. She loved him, that’s all that mattered to her now. She had something to live for again. Role-reversal.
1. Forward

Warnings: Mostly teen for language, sexual implications, and violent behaviors/thoughts.

Disclaimer: Guess what, this is _fan_fiction.

Pairing: Cannon couples sadly.

Genre: Romance, supernatural, drama, family, friendship, humor, hurt/comfort,

Summary: Bella knew this was wrong; she didn't care, not in the least. If she grew angered, instead of petting his face, she might rip off his head. She could kill him, completely by accident. But, she still didn't care. She loved him, that's all that mattered to her now. She had something to live for again. Role-reversal.

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Forward

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"Since there's no room in heaven… give me this town." – Talking

'_This town-your grave'_ – Thinking

_Ouchies _– Emphasis

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I can still hear my mother's screams as that beast tore their monstrous teeth into her shoulder, attempting to feast on her flesh. I remember Charlie had run to her side, yanking it off of her, only to be attacked as well. But, it didn't want to devour us, no. It wanted to make… more of itself. Collecting an army of disastrous clones as it had seen fit. I can still feel it's mate's teeth sliding into my arm, digging in for a good taste. I can still sense it's lips on skin, the burning sensation that never left me, like a haunting dream.

Even as utterly horrible as that memory was, this was far worse. Here he lied, the only other person I had come to love other than my family. The only human I would ever feel compassion for truly. Here he lied, in my arms…

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A/N!: Yeah, now I'm starting another fanfiction. Damn it. I'm not forgetting about my other's it's just I'm reading Twilight (for the second time), and I read a switch on their roles fanfiction, and I desperately wanted to do this. So I did. Also, I have the next chapters for the other stories, I just don't like those handwritten chapters, so I'm rewriting them, as soon as that's done, I'll go posty-post.

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Edward wasn't sexy enough in the movie.

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Bye-bye for now!

Review please.


	2. The Up And Coming

Warnings: Mostly teen for language, sexual implications, and violent behaviors/thoughts.

Disclaimer: Guess what, this is _fan_fiction.

Pairing: Cannon couples sadly.

Genre: Romance, supernatural, drama, family, friendship, humor, hurt/comfort,

Summary: Bella knew this was wrong; she didn't care, not in the least. If she grew angered, instead of petting his face, she might rip off his head. She could kill him, completely by accident. But, she still didn't care. She loved him, that's all that mattered to her now. She had something to live for again. Role-reversal.

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Chapter One - The Up And Coming

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"Pain, without love." – Talking

'_Pain, can't get enough.'_ – Thinking

_Yummy –_ Emphasis

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I was born in Forks; I was even raised in Forks until I was around three. I don't remember much of it. It was just… _green_. Too green in fact. My parents and I moved to Arizona, I practiced ballet there, along with the piano. I couldn't stand that musical instrument, it was just too difficult. Now, I wish I had stuck with those lessons. Ballet on the other hand, was simple, easy, even though I fell repeatedly. It was the early seventeenth century. Learning anything unnecessary was a complete luxury. I remember my neighbor girl, Millie I believe her name was, always talked about her violin. She said it was beautiful, soft, and wooden. I don't remember her playing, though I know it was wonderful. I would dance to it for hours, legs clad in ribbons from my dancing shoes.

I miss her, I think. She was a blond girl, gorgeous. All the boys on our street professed their love to her when we became teenagers, all while we were giggling at their words. Flattered beyond anyone's belief. I remember the last thing she said to me. "You're more beautiful that you give yourself credit for Izzy." It was a childhood epithet, _Izzy_. "You're far more beautiful than I am. Those stupid boys just don't see it. They only see me for my appearance. You have the most beautiful soul I have ever known, and will ever know. I'm glad I can call you my friend." She was the only person to call me that, _Izzy._ I wouldn't allow anyone else. She was a year older than me. When she turned seventeen, we were walking back from my recital, and a bunch of drunken men had ganged up on us, herding us into a dark ally… where they had beaten us both, and raped her. It was brutal to watch. She died in the hospital recovering from those pigs' actions. Someone had rescued us before they could get to me. At times I wish I could have been first, the one to be _taken_. But, like she said. They didn't see my beauty for only she could.

It wasn't long before a plague came onto our town, a little itty bitty town. It slaughtered almost everyone there, excluding Millie's parents. They had slit their own throats months before, too over come with grief to keep living without their beloved child. Weeks later, _they_ came. The ogres. The monsters. The vampires. My death.

I can still hear the pleas that came from my mother's throat, or maybe it was mine, as they turned us, had us reborn into a world of disgusting hatred and blood.

No one survived, not really. All that had existed after the disease, the Spanish Influenza, died, either feasted upon by those demons, or like my family. They had become the very fiend that they tried to escape. We had become the undead.

We had to leave that town, and so we did… the dozen of us or so. We had separated, finding the other families repulsive. They gorged themselves on what they once were, becoming completely savage. I couldn't do that, neither could my parents, we were still sane. Eventually, we had drown out our strength, and found ourselves indulging on numerous wild animals of the mountains we had traveled into.

Charlie – my father – found himself enjoying hunting after wild dogs; it was something he didn't get to do very often, just when there was an abundance of coyotes or the marvelous hyenas in Africa. Mother thought that was revolting, she loved ripping the skin and scales off of something with blood as cold as hers, giant lizards. She could never get enough of it. I, on the other hand, took a great deal of pleasure in racing after deer, on all fours; it was the thrill of the chase. I knew I could out run them; but I didn't know when they would turn, the detours they would take. I would become exactly what I was, a predator. The perfect weapon. We had discovered a transition from our natural, our intended, food source. We wouldn't be the vile creatures that had forced us to become this way, we were different. We were… almost human.

The North Pole was the most entertaining of all lands we had come across, although it was constantly white, constantly covered with something I detested, it was, for a lack of wording… fun. Taking part in competitions between the polar bears at who could make it to the icy waters, battling the bulky fish for dominance over certain areas of fish, just being… accepted in an area that didn't care. Many others had lived there – vampires that is. Our kind. Mother and Charlie weren't on the best of terms, not since the raid… when they had lost control – only once. She met Phil, a man whom she now was desperately in love with. Even with the life we had there, it just wasn't enough. Charlie and I, we missed the way we once were.

Mother and Charlie soon left, going back to Forks, a town that surely forgotten who they once were, pretending to be normal. It wasn't exactly that difficult, it was the cloudiest places in the United States of America. It was simple enough to forge over birth certificates; nothing had really changed in the past three hundred years. The town was still too green; many of the buildings were still standing. He easily became the Chief of Police, and Renee – my mother – played the part of a pregnant woman. Everyone thought she couldn't stand all the drab and depressing nature of the town, and fled, taking her child with her. Strange thing was, no one could truly blame her. Charlie had become close acquaintances with the Quileute tribe, a small Indian reservation down at La Push. He knew exactly what they were; he could smell the _wolf_ off of them. But, they, on the other hand, didn't exactly know what _we_ smelled like. They didn't know the difference between the scent of the undead and the living, they didn't spend much time around the everyday-run-of-the-mill human. They simply didn't know.

I was told Charlie spoke of me often, about his darling daughter, his precious baby girl. Ha, what a laugh. I wasn't so _darling_ anymore. I was a vicious carnivore, craving mainly one thing. _Blood_. It had taken me two hundred fifty years to perfect my tolerance for my inner desire. I could withstand it for some time, days – or weeks if necessary – on end, and as long as I had at least a moment of peace without it, I could do it all over again. So, soon, I would be leaving for Forks. To live a normal life, one that Charlie had taken so long to accomplish for me to attempt at, I had spent the past forty years rearing in my senses, once again learning restraint.

I would finally have a place that I could call _home_. Maybe, just maybe.

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A/N!: Another chapter… should I be happy or sad?

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Jacob was so hot in the movie.

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Bye-bye for now!

Review please.


	3. God Must Hate Me

**Warnings: Mostly teen for language, sexual implications, and violent behaviors/thoughts.**

**Disclaimer: Guess what, this is **_**fan**_**fiction. **

**Pairing: Cannon couples sadly.**

**Genre: Romance, supernatural, drama, family, friendship, humor, hurt/comfort, **

**Summary: Bella knew this was wrong; she didn't care, not in the least. If she grew angered, instead of petting his face, she might rip off his head. She could kill him, completely by accident. But, she still didn't care. She loved him, that's all that mattered to her now. She had something to live for again. Role-reversal. **

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**Chapter Two – God Must Hate Me **

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"**You and me baby, we ain't nothin' but mammals." – Talking**

'_**So let's do it like they do on the discovery channel.'**_** – Thinking**

_**No –**_** Emphasis**

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Charlie tried to make the transition easiest for me, I thought he would have nearly a thousand questions about how mother was, how the land of ice was, anything at all really. But, I guess that's where the most similar. He didn't ask anything, he didn't need to; he had it all ready to hear, directly from my mind. He was calm, easy to get along with, nothing surprised him really. Maybe the best thing about him was the fact that he didn't hover.

"Bells, I had gotten you a truck, a Chevy. It's old, but it runs great. It's from Billy Black, one of the men from the Quileute tribe down at La Push. The friend I told you about. It was really cheap; I didn't exactly have a lot to spend." It almost made me smile, he had gotten me something that I needed to fit in, although it was probably a little less than a third my age, it was still a great thought.

"Thanks Charlie." It surprised me just how much I come to love this ancient truck, old and bulky, all in all… utterly and wonderfully beautiful to me. It almost shined like my skin in the sunshine, but the truck's was from the headlight's flashing on its misted metal. I could have made love to that truck, though, at that thought, it suddenly repulsed me, then went back to being beautiful. "I love it Charlie."

There wasn't much that needed to be taken to my room, just a few boxes, mostly books, and a couple suitcases filled to the brim with clothing. Mother and I had gone shopping with money from Phil that he had been saving for an occasion he thought was justifiably special enough. I guess this qualified. I needed mostly winter clothes, such as pants and sweaters, and plenty of shoes. I couldn't go running around barefoot anymore.

That room had a bed, small but big enough for just me, that's all that was meant to be on it after all. A desk with a computer that was, probably, a little younger than my truck, a cable line drug across the baseboard. A simple dresser. A rocker I recognized as one that was almost identical to the one my mother used to put me to sleep in. This house seemed so familiar, but it wasn't old enough to be the one from my infantry. "It's designed the same as the old house. I figured some similarity would be best in coming here. Your room and the kitchen were the only things I could remember fairly well." I looked over my shoulder to see my father standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame. Just how long would I be able to settle down before school started, how long would I have to memorize everything about this town? "You'll start next week. I have a map of Forks. I thought you might want that. You weren't the one who liked going places unprepared."

A gave a short laugh. "Thanks Charlie." He was always so considerate. I wonder how much pain he went through watching Mother fall for Phil, knowing she was leaving him behind like that. It was thoughts like these that almost allowed me to hate her, but I loved her too much to. She was the only thing I had left other than Charlie; everyone else had already died – in more than one way.

I knew it would be a long night ahead of me, I took my time unpacking, I had all night to do it, plus the next two days. It was a fairly simple task, not too much thought needed in it. Then a hot shower was required, when I stepped out, I was nearly warm to the touch. A false temperature, I know, but almost alive none the less.

I lay in bed all those hours of darkness, just staring at my ceiling, curled under the blankets. I had grown sick of the darkness. I wanted to run free. I wanted to hunt. I _needed_ to hunt, at least before school began. I wasn't something I could put off for long. I knew that. So, instead of doing what I knew was a necessity, I began to study up on what I was about to submerge myself into, the entirety of the area of Forks.

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It was early Monday morning when I felt it was late enough to begin getting ready for my ultimate disaster. Here I was, trying to be more humane, and I would also have to steer from them, befriend them, trick them, lie to them, and try not to devour them whole, all while falling in love with the idea of them. Being here would surely tear me apart; rip my soul from my dead… cold… frozen body. If I gained any friends – people that I didn't want – I would have to, eventually, leave them, let them grow old together, have children, repeat, and die. I would have to let them go. I knew this; I knew it would break me down. I didn't care. I missed being alive far too much to care about my own self, and this was the closest thing I would ever get to becoming like that again.

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The first semester of junior year was practically half over. I was the new girl, starting in at a sudden time, instead of with the rest of their humanity. The others would be quite curious; it was simply natural… especially when your last name was 'Swan', being the 'long lost daughter of Charlie'. I knew what they though, though I didn't rob it from their minds, the child of the Police chief had finally come home, to stay. How right and wrong they were. I was too old to be a child; but, I most definitely was here.

Thanks to the wonderful directions that a passing idiotic freshman had given me, it had taken me nearly twenty minutes to find the section of the building I was looking for. _**'FRONT**_ _**OFFICE'**_ it had been labeled, I wanted to strangle that girl-who-smelt-of-a-boy. Eh, it was probably a male anyways. I couldn't tell anymore. Poor kid, they had probably been too scared of the glare I had given them to actually think clear enough o tell me where to go… correctly.

The woman at the desk smelt distinctly of gum, a scent I was growing more and more accustomed to by the passing second. Apparently, _everyone_ here reeked of it, strongly so. Ugh. The moment the woman looked up at me, she gasped, almost choking on that repulsive thing she was blowing.

_'Pop!'_

She had accidentally suddenly sucked it back in, coughing all the while. "I'm Isabella Swan."

She slowly nodded. "Uh-huh."

I scowled, looking at my toes. "My schedule… Isabella Swan." The name plate suggested her identity to be the receptionist.

"Of course… miss… Swan. Oh! Miss Swan! It's good to see you here in Forks, here's your schedule." She highlighted a map with the best route to each class. She was nice, really she was. Just a little ditzy, most likely due to me. Poor lady, she couldn't help it if I was distracting her attention from _'People Magazine'_, learning about Brad Pitt or someone like that I think, I wasn't sure.

"Thank you." I bowed my head in appreciation, giving a slight smile. Evidently she forgot how to breathe. I had to leave quickly, before she passed out from loss of oxygen

Because of her, it was fairly easy to get to my first class, not entirely too late. I noticed she had forgotten to explain a sheet of paper that was assigned to be signed by every teacher. She was too amazed by my presence to even think clearly. I almost smiled at that thought, or maybe it was a frown. My lip twitched either way, that was all I could tell, pleasure or none. I don't know.

Literature was, thankfully, my first class. Literature was uncomplicated. It didn't change, and most of it was written as I originally spoke, old English and all, so many years ago. This would be a walk in the park, or I think that's the phrase that fits.

Slowly, not eagerly in the least, I opened the door to my English class; it was now or never that I decided to torture myself in their company. It wasn't as difficult of a task as I thought it was going to be, walking in there. Not many had glanced up from their assigned reading; those that did had trouble looking away. This, of course, included my teacher. "Mr. Mason I'm guessing? I'm Bella Swan. I just moved here. You're supposed to sign this I think." I laid the paper on his desk; he hurriedly glanced at it, trying to think of something to distract himself from me. I could have laughed, had this not been such a public place, forging over innocence that didn't exist.

I was lucky enough to be set near the corner, away from plenty of people, the scent at its weakest since the door was left open. Hopefully it would be like that in the other classes The class passed fairly quickly, no complications other than several teens gaping at me. It grew annoying. _Very_ annoying in fact. I almost growled at some that wouldn't stop staring; instead, I settled for giving them a Hell-borne glare. They turned away easy enough. When everyone went back to their books, a smirk graced my lips. I'm probably going to enjoy it here, just a little bit.

The irritating ring of a horn-like buzzer went off, signaling the end of that period. I jerked my things into my bag, preparing to leave for my second class when a boy had finally gathered up enough courage to make his way to my side. "You're Isabella Swan, right?"

I nodded curtly. "Bella, actually." Dear God! I was about to gag on the smell of him! He had such a concentrated scent of peppermint and cigarettes. It was utterly disgusting. _Ugh!_ I couldn't stand the smell of tobacco three hundred years ago, and I still can't.

"I… I'm Eric." He stumbled over his words. This guy was surely a nuisance to life, it would be effortless enough to lure him into a closet and kill him soundlessly. Eh, he's not annoying enough to even try.

"I'm sorry, but I have to get to class." I began to walk away.

"Wait! Where are you going? I can probably show you there… so… you don't get lost and all."

"Government with Jefferson."

His eyes brightened with glee. "I'm going to Building Six too, I'll show you there."

I suppressed a groan, just giving him a shy smile, grinding my teeth together. "Thanks Eric." We strolled off to the announced building, me wanting to throttle his talkative self the entire way there.

My other classed went by just as rapidly as the first. I was going to hate Mr. Varner regardless of the fact that he made me stand in front of the entire class, who just happened to stare at me like a deer about to be pounced upon for dinner. He taught Trigonometry. Math. Ew. I had two reasons to hate him, and I seriously wanted to. I shared both my Spanish and mathematics periods – consecutive unfortunately – with a girl named Jessica. This oblivious preppy… thing… just wouldn't hush! She talked and talked and talked and talked… and talked. I couldn't keep up with what she was saying most of the time, even if I wanted to.

And so, here I stood, in this godforsaken line, waiting to gather food… that I wouldn't even eat. I'm wasting resources for hungry children in Africa or something. Poor kids. I didn't care though. People I don't know are of no importance to me, not really. Between bites, she still rambled on about nonsense, just plain stupid things! Cheerleaders, football teams, when to try out for sports, as if that was _any_ use to me! Of course… she didn't know that. The best thing about her was that… Jessica wasn't fazed by the natural enticement of my vampire aura. I liked this, I liked this a lot.

We sat at the table, myself across from a girl named Angela, who rarely asked any questions about my personal life, just giving little tidbit opinions here and there, I pretended to take sips from a can of soda that I only put up to my lips, taking a swig into my mouth, spurting it back in when I went to drink again. Nodding my head in-between those times.

Suddenly, I turned my head in the direction of an obnoxious laugh, sure that my ears were bleeding, though I had no blood, and… stopped breathing.

There, in the glory of all the heavens above, was something that only God himself – or herself – could create. There sat a beautiful male, almost vampric so. Pale skin, nearly sunless like my own; topaz, maybe jade, eyes; tussled brown hair that was fit for a beauty salon advertisement; a fit frame, between lanky and slightly muscular, with clothing that gave plenty to overactive imaginations; and, he was looking at others similar to himself.

"Who are _they_?" I was surprised at the emotion in my voice, I was never curious before, not really, not that I could remember.

Angela didn't even have to look up to know who I was talking about; no one else attracted as much attention as those gorgeous people. "Them? Those are Dr. Cullen's kids."

Doctor Cullen? I heard that name somewhere before. "The short girl, that's Alice Cullen." My eyes easily located her. She was rather… oh, what's the word? … _cute_. She's someone I pictured that would exist in tales on the subject of fairies, and other mythical creatures. Short black hair that spiked out into several directions, not even a diluted scent of any kind of cosmetic product to do that either; a petite form, quite delicate; a high pitched voice, but not eardrum-bustingly-so; hazel eyes lit up with simple joy as she spoke of shopping; all in all, pixie-like.

"The boy next to her, the one that looks like he's in pain, that's Jasper Hale." I suppressed a smirk. In pain? He just had a severe headache from all the rambunctious girls all over the cafeteria gigging like mad women that went off of their medications suddenly. He was richly looking; blond hair a little lighter than actual honey adorned his head; he had a southern drawl, that of a Texas citizen; his blue eyes stared at the little female, gently smiling at her with honest affection, they reminded me of the Arizona skies.

"The really really pretty one is Rosalie Hale." _Really really pretty_ was a serious understatement. The lass was born to be a model. Her hair was long, a flowing wavy golden blond, eyes that matched the other blond as she had gotten up, Miss Hale _strutted_ all the way to the trashcan – food barely touched – the way a woman was on the catwalk. She reminded me of a graphic novel I read a few months ago; she reminded me of 'Cat-Woman'.

"There, the _huge_ one, that's Emmett Cullen." _Huge_ he was, something of a professional weight lifter from one of those commercials on that thing my father called a television, just not nearly as disgustingly grotesque. Dark curly hair led to deep brown eyes. I almost couldn't tear my eyes away.

"And him, that one. That's Edward Cullen." This time, I did smirk. It was the guy I had noticed before. He was like a Greek god had come to earth in a body we could see. In all my three hundred years of life, never before had I seen someone as breathtakingly beautiful as him. Speaking of breathtaking… I forced myself to breathe.

They all shared one singular thing in common, besides being utterly lovely, and that was their pale sunless skin.

"But, they're all… _together_." I heard Jessica say this, I whipped my head back to her.

"Together?" Sarcasm dripped from my voice in venomous pools.

"Yeah, and they live together too. I mean seriously, they're related. But, Alice and Jasper, they are _together_. Emmett and Rosalie are _together_. Sure, Jasper and Rosalie, Mrs. Cullen, she fosters them. Well, not anymore. They had just gotten too old to do that, but it's still gross. Even if the other three are adopted. It's nasty. They're _siblings_."

I laughed slightly. Nasty huh? How about kissing someone whose saliva is centuries old? Is that just as nasty as falling in love with someone who isn't even your kin? "I don't think so. Love is love. You can't help who fate decided to force you to fall in love with."

Many girls made noises that I thought could be confused with the sound of a pig dying painfully. "That's so _sweet!_" Jessica, who once again thought it best to touch me, gave me a hug – something I haven't had in up-teen decades. Now, for the about seventh time today, I had lost count, that annoying as Hell bell rang to dismiss us to the next period. Slowly, I had drug myself up and out of that uncomfortable seat, heading to Biology II, a class that should be simple enough.

Upon entering this obviously going to be dull time of my life, I gave the slip of paper to the teacher, who looked more interested in staring at the pictures on my notebook than anything else. Mr. Banner was what his name was. "Miss Swan, sit next to Mister Cullen. Mister Cullen, please raise your hand."

I darted my eyes to said male, once again no longer breathing, and saw that 'Mister Cullen' wasn't Emmett, but Edward. Trudging my way towards him, I felt a fan hit my back. Edward erected his back stiffly, nostrils flaring as he took in my scent deeply, suddenly looking away. I sat next to him, tugging at the hem of my shirt, trying not to stare at his red dusted cheeks.

Then, I did a very bad thing… I began to inhale.

The earthen scent of him infiltrated my senses, drifting through my mind, sending the liveliest tingles through my body. Never before had I felt such avid behaviors. The pungent air about him… I never knew such a delicious smell before. But, if control wasn't my forte, I was sure I would have jumped him, ripping him to shreds. Grabbing hold of my chair, I left indents under my metal seat, places where my fingers fit in perfectly. I couldn't pay attention to the instructor; I did the best I could just to hold myself together, just _glaring_ at this absurd human!

How _dare_ this stupid male get me riled up into such a state of distress! How dare his scent do this to me! Oh god! It infuriates me so! He, who knew nothing of the world; he, who hadn't seen the horrors it contained; he, who still thought the only things that went bump in the night were petty thieves, common murderers, and disgusting rapists. He had flustered me into a damn temper-fit-tantrum. Even now, this was angering me even more. This insignificant human – a male no less! – was taking away my God-given right to be here; well, maybe not _God-given._ This _fool_ would have me expose my father's, and my own, true existence. I couldn't believe my own rage over this. I was such an idiot.

Allowing myself to breathe again, I understood exactly _why_ it was that I wanted him so. He smelt _just_ like Millie. Freshly ground up cinnamon sticks and burning cherry wood… I bet his skin tasted of cinnamon too, mostly likely soft as well. I wanted to touch him; I wanted to run my fingers through his hair; I wanted to know how it felt to be touched _by him_. I wanted _him_ to make me feel alive again. I wanted it without feeding from him. I didn't want him to fear me.

The moment the bell rang to dismiss us to our last class, I wanted to curse the gods above as I fled from it, bags and books with me. I had to keep myself from going at an unnatural pace, to keep myself under restraints. Unfortunately, a boy named Mike had caught up to me before I could successfully get away, a boy from my gym class.

"Hey, Bella, wait up!"

A casual growl left my throat as I slowed down swiftly. "Um… Mike right? From lunch?"

He nodded eagerly, looking pleased with himself or something else. "Yeah, that's me. So, um… where ya headed?"

"Gym, that's big enough for me to find it without becoming utterly lost."

His eyes widened. No, no, no, no, dear god no. "I have gym next too! Come on, let's go." He grabbed me by the arm, but pulled away at the iciness of it. "God you're cold."

I nodded meekly. "Yeah, I am." I continued towards the gymnasium, hurrying off. Unluckily, he followed.

I had heard that many schools required one or two years of physical education, my transcripts stated that I had gone through two just incase, plus health. But, this placed mandated that we should have it all four years. This class was my own personal Hell. I had never been a sporty girl; I loathed running around in a circle for others amusement, and other such childish games. Competition was different from a kill, different when you're marking your territory. Especially this _volleyball_ nonsense! All they did was march back and forth numerous times, smacking a ball to one another. It was idiotic! Thank the heavens above that I didn't need to begin this today; Coach Clapp had excused me from this until tomorrow. I wonder how long I could fake illness to skip this. Eh, not even a moment, I don't get sick, no vampire does.

The very moment school was announced its dismissal, I jogged to the parking lot, ready to head home. I had to jerk my truck door open since I had slammed it shut too harshly this morning. The boy whose car I was next to stared at me while I forced the engine to roar to life. I swear I was going to go deaf from the noisy thing. The trip home was fairly uneventful, just the smell of the exhaust in the air. Even the house was quiet, home was nothing, boring and dull. Charlie was still at work, there was nothing to do, no one to annoy relentlessly like what those loquacious girls had done to me.

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**A/N!: LOL, Charlie can read minds, helpful with you're a cop. LOL, Renee can persuade stuff to do something, like getting her food to come to her. What will Bella have? Future sight? No. Strength? LOL, no. Pigheadedness? No, that's only for Rosalie, she perfects it. You'll see dearies. Bella's special… ed. **

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**I wanted Bella to wind up with Jacob. **

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**Bye-bye for now! **

**Review please.**

6


	4. Like Lightning

**Warnings: Mostly teen for language, sexual implications, and violent behaviors/thoughts.**

**Disclaimer: Guess what, this is **_**fan**_**fiction. **

**Pairing: Cannon couples sadly.**

**Genre: Romance, supernatural, drama, family, friendship, humor, hurt/comfort, **

**Summary: Bella knew this was wrong; she didn't care, not in the least. If she grew angered, instead of petting his face, she might rip off his head. She could kill him, completely by accident. But, she still didn't care. She loved him, that's all that mattered to her now. She had something to live for again. Role-reversal. **

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**Chapter Three – Like Lightning **

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"**You ain't never heard it like this before." – Talking**

'_**Cause I ain't ever put it down like this before.'**_** – Thinking**

_**Yayz –**_** Emphasis**

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Once more, I woke up in a cold sweat, heart pounding rapidly, breath in uneasy quick pants. My nights were still plagued relentlessly with the nightmarish Hell known as memories. Most of the time I won't remember what it was I had jolted awake from, just a slight idea. But, the ones that will ring clear and true, are ones that I wish I could forget. I'm always running in an endless forest, all in vain, being chased by something so repulsive, trying to get to my family. Strangest thing about the entire ordeal, I wanted to be with that creature I knew I should fear, and I was terrified of it. I… I loved it.

"Edward, it's time to get up." I heard a high pitched voice of a very sweet soul, probably the nicest girl I would ever know, excluding Esme; she was a woman after all. Alice. "Oh, and Edward, something's coming." I looked up at her, lifting my head from my pillow; it's been a while since she had a premonition, even at a weak state. She wasn't a psychic, that's just idiotic, she only had a feeling about certain things; good or bad; do or don't; whether it meant harm or not. She doesn't see visions, its nothing like that. "I don't know what it wants, or why its here. It doesn't want to hurt anyone… but, it isn't exactly moral being. Be careful, alright?" She smiled widely at me, obviously delighted with the information she had just told me. Then, she scampered off, most likely to go tell Carlisle… who would inform us during breakfast. Which was the natural thing…

Why had she just told _me_ about something she felt? God, my mind was hurting at just the thought of this.

Hurrying out of the sheets twisted around my body, I sprinted down the hallway to one of the showers, a set of boxers and towel in hand. I was lucky enough to find one of the three open, and Rosalie was still asleep. Hopefully, she'd still be that way until I was done, that girl could use up all the hot water in ten minutes, even if we did have propane. **(1)**

It didn't take long to clean my body, the only reason I usually woke this early was to bathe before Rosalie would get up. I sighed as felt the water roll down my body, releasing the stress that was knotting up my muscles from the horrid fantasies my mind built at night, and not the sexual kind either. Shutting off the water and stepping out, I groaned in distaste as the cold air hit my warm skin. It was relief when I began to dry myself off. Coming from a shower, I had always felt as if I had just come from gym class, still sweaty from the exercise. It felt so disgusting; the liquid on my skin clinging to me like it was the dew on the grassy ground.

Slipping on the black undergarments on, I fumbled for my toothbrush. But, then I realized I had left it in my room, and grabbed Jasper's. He wouldn't care, not in the least. And I didn't trust Emmett's to be clean enough to use. Squeezing the tube of the minty paste, I let it fall onto the teeth of the toothbrush. I sighed, turning on the water and wetting the instrument, before setting to making my breath _'irresistibly-kissable'_ as the title of the toothpaste stated. It was pink, ugh. With my luck it would turn my teeth this rosy color. I would kill Rosalie if it did that… again. That was an embarrassing eighth grade photo.

Grumbling, I heard a knock at the door, and replaced the toothbrush, spitting out the foam from my mouth and rinsing it clean. Minty-fresh, like a mountain breeze. Soon, a kick was given to the door. "Hurry up Edward! No guy takes that long!" Great, Rosalie had woken up.

"I'm going, damn girl. No need to give birth to a cow." I jerked the handle to open the door; on the other side was the Goddess of hell.

Her normally beautiful hair was up in a ponytail that was failing miserably to stay intact, most of the hair already having had fallen down and become frizzy. She had evidently forgotten to take off the light make-up she was wearing, for the eyeliner was smudged and her mascara was smeared down her face. I would have laughed at the sight had I not known she would have kicked me in the groin.

I jerked open the door in one fluid motion, suppressing a growl in the back of my throat. "Well then your highness, your _thrown_ awaits you." Smirking at her patent pissed-off-ness, I began towards my room, the bathroom door slam behind her. "Well _someone_ didn't have sex last night…" I couldn't help the chuckle that left my lips.

Emmett gave a short laugh as I closed my door; I don't know how he put up with the girl that was just _so_ annoyingly vain. There was probably worse out there, I just didn't want to meet them. Rosalie was enough narcissism for any member in the household.

Remembering that today was my laundry day –we each did ours on certain days, kept the hassle to do it all in one go– and groaned. I didn't have much left to choose from that was clean, and I wasn't going to wear dirty clothing; I'm not Emmett, he's just nasty sometimes. Plus… that meant I had to actually wash them… house hold chores was not on my list of hobbies or things I was talented at. I didn't care in the least either, someone usually fixed it before it became a total disaster that wasn't fixable, even for Esme.

I wound up having to wear a green sweater I hadn't seen in about three weeks, it was a dark color, and came to my elbows. I can't believe it was at the back of my closet, I'd been looking for it since forever and a day ago. I was going to kill Rosalie if she 'borrowed' my clothes again, damn girl, always thinking everything belonged to her by the birthright of being beautiful. Luckily my dark gray pants weren't gone, they were the only jeans that went with my shirt well. Chucking, I smoothed down my shirt; it seemed to love to bunch up around my waist, what little one I had anyways. I finished my attire with a pair of black sneakers and a wristband with the Cullen family crest on it. The family had that certain marking since the early seventeen hundreds.

Tossing my bag over my shoulder, I ran my fingers through my hair, messing it up slightly. I couldn't stand it sticking to my skin. Once I had reached the kitchen, I almost stopped to stare at the six who stared at me, only one looking away ashamed. Apparently Alice had already told Carlisle of her urgent announcement, and the family was just waiting for me to be informed of it. I simply took the seat to Carlisle's left, across the table from Esme, while just staring at my plate of vegetables and chicken. Our family had a vegetarian lifestyle, somewhat. We still ate chicken, occasionally fish. Emmett and Jasper were the only ones who ate steak, rare, regularly as if it were a religion they were faithful to.

"Everyone… Alice has had a premonition." It was Carlisle who spoke; though, in his pause, Rosalie deemed it best to interrupt quite rudely.

"Finally, I thought she wasn't going to have one again."

Several of us glared at her, especially Jasper and myself. "Be _quiet_ Rosalie." I wasn't surprised that it was me who hissed those words at her.

"Thank you Rosalie for your enthusiastic opinion on the matters of Alice's frequency. But, now I'll continue." He sighed, Esme patting his hand to calm him down. "Alice had a premonition. She doesn't believe it means _harm_; but, she doesn't think it's completely trustworthy either. She doesn't know what it is. And… Edward, be careful." He looked at me, a slightly solemn expression. "Actually, especially you Edward. She thinks it has to do with you. So… no driving out late at night for a while, and no speeding either. I don't want you in a wreck." I nodded to him, he worried too much, and I didn't need to stress him further about this as well. "And please have some social time. You have no friends, your mother and I worry over you. Your siblings spend some time with others, you should too. It might do you some favor. It's not healthy to stay alone." _Great…_ More complications for them.

Can't I do something, _anything_, right for a change?

"Yes sir. I'll…" My voice caught in my throat, it took all too long before it let me speak again. "I'll try Carlisle." This was the best I could offer, obviously, and it satiated them… for now. Soon they would want more, proof I put in the effort.

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It was a long trip to school, much longer than normal since I obeyed the speed limit. "You know you don't have to drive slowly. Just tell tem you're doing what they want, you don't actually _have_ to work at it." I growled at that idiot Emmett.

"You know _damn_ well that I am _not_ going to defy them." I have him the best glare I could muster, thru the rearview mirror. "So just shut the _fuck_ _up_ Emmett." He visibly winced.

We rolled into the parking lot. A new – well, it hadn't been there _before_, but it was very old – truck was already parked close to the exit for the vehicles. "Who is _that?_" It was Jasper, for once, who spoke with curiosity. It was a red truck, a Chevy, and the person inside was gradually getting out. I think I died and went to Purgatory, I'm not exactly sure. But, I don't belong in Heaven, that's something that will never happen.

She was utterly beautiful. Brown hair cascaded down her shoulders to the middle of her back. The alabaster of her skin stood out like a neon sign in a dark secluded street at a liquor store. Her shirt could have easily been a dress, and it probably was. It was a dark gray turtle neck that had too much fabric at the neck so it liked to scrunch up there; her sleeves were all too long, nearly covering the entirety of her hands, just leaving a little of her fingers to be exposed; then end of it went to the mid-thigh, it hugged her body snuggly, to tight to leave anything for my mind to make fantasies of her form. The top piece of clothing was over a pair of, once again, excruciatingly constricted black jeans. I wondered why she thought it was necessary to wear so much; I'd rather see less on her. But, wouldn't all that cloth get hot? She began to tug on night colored gloves, I couldn't help but stare. She wasn't wearing heels like Rosalie would have, thank you God, but Converses instead. As she turned to head into the building, I noticed I hadn't driven an inch since I first laid my eyes on her.

"Are… you alright Edward? You just… stopped." I was Alice whom I heard.

"Yeah, I'm fine." My voice betrayed me, weak and shocked sounding.

"I think Eddie likes her. He wants to f-!" I cut him off by undoing my seat belt and reaching back, smacking him numerous times. "Ow! Damn it Edward! Stop it! Ow! Ow…" He was lucky I still needed to get us settled into a parking spot; otherwise I would have hit him a little more. So, rushing to our usual spot near the entrance, I scowled.

"Emmett, you're a perverted moron." We leisurely got out of the Volvo, gathering out things to head to our classes.

"Yep!" The grin he sported gave me the palpable reason to know he agreed with me thoroughly. "And you, Edward, have finally achieved hormones! I'm so proud of you! Now, go get her and woo her like you want to bed he-!" I slapped him as hard as I could across the back of his head. I knew that if I hadn't he would have just kept talking about that girl, and my so-called desires. Damn that male and his perverse mindset.

"Emmett, I do _not_ want to… sleep with her. You pervert." Sex didn't matter to me.

He beamed, I was fortunate enough to see that most of the gawking by-standers had hurried into the building in fear of another one of my brother's episodes. "Yes you do, you just don't want to admit you actually have an attraction for one." I glared at his back as we headed up the stairs. "You've got a crush Edward." His tone was suddenly serious – quite unlike him – and he looked over his shoulder at me. I realized that the rest of family were already gone, most likely to give him time to talk to me about this crazed matter. "Esme would be pleased. I won't tell her; but, try to… see your infatuation to the end. You really do need someone, friend or lover. It just isn't healthy to stay alone like this." He sighed, traveling one, just leaving me here to follow or not. "She was pretty. I have to agree with you on that, Edward. Her clothes didn't do her body justice. Seriously." He smirked at me, nearing his classroom door. "She was some kind of hot."

I couldn't hold in my laughter. "Is that _all _you can think about, Emmett?"

He gave me one of his natural grins. "Couldn't you have picked a more _average_ girl? I don't know if you're pretty enough for her. And… Rosalie is going to be jealous." He was clearly pleased with the attractiveness of the girl; I mostly knew this because of the spank he delivered to my rear as I headed on.

Damn, that hurt too.

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I went through the morning in a blur of messed drab colors. Everyone spoke of the new girl. Isabella Marie Swan. Bella was her preference to a name. She was the daughter of the police chief here in Forks, and from what the teachers suggest, her mother stole her away as an infant, running all the way to Arizona. I heard all sorts of stories and rumors about those to women; affairs that the mother must have committed, why else would she have run like that, Bella mustn't be Charlie's child; the wrath and lust the two held, mostly Bella, she had no _real_ reason to be here in Forks, she couldn't actually _miss_ her own _father_ could she; the rebellious behaviors that Bella express through dead brain cells from snorted while substances, a police man constantly over your shoulder would keep you at bay, in theory. I couldn't believe that she could do something… illegal; lustrous though, I could. She did have the body for it.

Eventually, lunch came, I had the last one since I had French right before it. It didn't take long before Rosalie began her daily discussion of shopping and fashion with Alice, the two occasionally giggling. Stuffing a fork full of vegetables into my mouth, I felt Emmett nudge my side not so gently. "Hey, lover-boy, look who has our lunch." I didn't have to glance up at him to know he was smiling; I could hear it in his voice. But, I let my gaze travel towards the direction he gestured. Low and behold, there sat Miss Swan.

A girl near her, Jessica I believe, was brushing Bella's hair gently, pulling it up in a tight pony tail, and then the bimbo hugged her fiercely into her t-shirt covered breasts. Beside me, Emmett laughed at Bella's misfortune because that same teen squealed in delight at having a new person to shove around carelessly. Everyone at their table winced, including the girl being hugged. I felt sorry for her ears, which had to have hurt.

"Emmett, that's Edward's girl right?" Couldn't Rosalie pick someone else to talk about? Wait… _my_ girl? Since when did this happen? What if she had heard? That would be an embarrassment I would _love_ to avoid at all costs.

"Yeah. So, Eddie, found out her name yet?" I gave them a curt nod; but, I didn't want to talk about any of it right _now_. That much was apparent. Girls in small towns _love_ to gossip. Many of them ignored our 'pretentious' family; but, I'm sure that if it had to deal with the new kid, it would be all over Forks before the school day was upon it's last hour. Dear God! And if Esme found out before I got home! She would fall Chief Swan and invite the two of them to dinner. Please no…

I heard one of the cheerleaders laugh obnoxiously loud and high, Bella's head turned towards her quickly, and I looked away, staring at my food, trying not to stare at her. I could tell her eyes wound up at us. I wasn't paying attention to what my family was talking about; but, I was sure it wasn't Bella, they wouldn't embarrass me like that before I even had a chance to speak to her. I was certain one of the girls, maybe Esme actually, would eventually break out the family album sometime after I became friends with her… if I became friends with her. I doubt I would. Glancing towards the group of nerdy preps and geeky jocks I saw Jessica say something to Bella obviously explaining our family. I could read her lips; it wasn't difficult since she articulated all too much.

_'But, they're all…_ _together.'_ Bella jerked her head towards them, away from us; she was clearly unhappy about what was said. They conversed a little longer before, strangely, her shoulders shook lightly, a soft laugh. She spoke something to them, and several of the girls made harsh high-pitched noises that I'm sure isn't humanly done naturally. Once more, that blond bimbo stuffed Miss Swan's face into her cloth covered cleavage. I felt my eye twitch when she stiffened in her grasp. I could tell from all the way across half the cafeteria that Bella didn't enjoy intimate touches like that, at least from someone she barely knew.

Soon, the bell rang and our family scurried off to our class, myself walking slower to see where Bella might head off towards. I couldn't wait long because it would be too suspicious and I would seem like a stalker. I went leisurely enough to watch Bella try her damnedest to get away from the hyperactive teen in vain; but, I was quick enough to get to period on time.

I was the only one in my Biology II class who sat at a table all alone, by choice and not at the same time. If we had a new student join us during this period, they would have to sit next to me. Though it was highly unlikely for her to be here, the possibility thrilled me. I was still feeling false electricity from those hopeful thoughts when I heard Mr. Banner call my name.

"… to Mister Cullen. Mister Cullen, please raise your hand."

I was slightly confused, but did as told, looking up none the less. My hope had been answered somehow. She stood there, taking a slip of paper that the teacher signed off for her as a revolving fan hit her back. Her scent hit me full force like a brick wall I had just run into without slowing down. She smelt excruciatingly lovely. Strawberries were the most prominent about her, lavender as I exhaled. I could almost swear she gave a metallic aroma lacing her, freshly spilt blood, but, that was just completely absurd. She held the odor of… intense grief. I could die in this moment, and involuntarily stiffened from the excitement being near her gave me.

She sat next to me at a fairly slow pace, scooting her chair as far away from me as humanly possible, staring at the tabletop viciously. I found that her hair wasn't _as_ dark as I had originally thought it to be, just a few strands of blond hair that scattered throughout, it was probably the fluorescent lighting that helped them stand out, more so than when I had seen her outside. I was surprised at how threatening her eyes were. I couldn't believe I once upon a time had the notion that Esme would have the darkest eyes I would ever see; Bella's surpassed his by far. Hers were large liquid pools of coal, hungry, desperate, furious, and miserable. They were seemingly innocent, but I doubted they had seen the immaculate things this world had to offer girls like her. The lighting reflected off of her skin, a greater amount than what the way clouded sky had. Her lips were a red that was extremely close to crimson, the only pigmentation on her skin. No blush dusted her cheeks, not like how mine were colored. It seemed to grow chilly from being close to her, as if she had no bodily heat what-so-ever. I thought I heard a low growl coming from her throat, but that was impossible. I was positive I was beginning to go insane. All the way through the first five-sixths of the allotted hours we were together, was getting the impression she hated me with such a intense passion. All she did was _glare_ at me from the corner of her eyes, on the edge of her chair, ready to fall off, stiffer than a board, as if I was some sort of a disease.

In the last ten minutes, she relaxed somewhat, glancing at me constantly. I let out a sigh of relief. Maybe she wasn't as tense knowing the class was five-sixths over, nevertheless she probably hated me. It was only natural. Jessica and her big mouth most likely told her of our… incestuous habits, though it's not technically 'incest' since we aren't related. Emmett and Alice were adopted by Carlisle when they were only infants. Jasper and Rosalie were the twins from one of Esme's college comrades, their parents had died in a car crash when they were about twelve. I… Esme took me in when I was five, adopting me right away, not even waiting for the approval from Carlisle. As I grew older with these people, I realized that they were more of a family to me than my own parents had been.

That irritating bell rang loudly, ripping me out of my stupor roughly, and Bella bolted for the door, and she was gone before I could think of something proper to tell her to get her to stay a moment or two longer. I was almost depressed as I went to my final class, Calculus. This usually _elated_ me to no end. Favorite subject, an hour until I would be allowed to go home, and my only class with Alice. I should have been ecstatic. Keyword: should. Instead, I drug along to my seat, glowering at everything that grazed my path. I didn't care that I slammed my books down or threw my backpack to the floor beside my desk. No, not in the least. I simply fretted over the fact that Bella Swan detested me, loathed me. My first crush couldn't stand me, couldn't stomach me. I brooded all through my mathematics period, several times my sister gave me worried pats on my hand and leg. I thank the heavens when the school day eventually came to a slow agonizing end.

I jumbled my things into my binder, not giving a damn if they got crumpled or wrinkled, and rushed to my car. Jasper was already waiting beside the Volvo, along with Rosalie. It was obvious that the reason they had gotten here so fast was so that they could bombard me with questions about what I had found out about Bella… or that was at least Rosalie's reason, Jasper was always here early. "So… what's her name Eddie?" I wanted to ring that blonde's neck at the tone of voice she was using.

"Bella Swan."

And so begot the onslaught of the inquiry. All through waiting for the rest of the family members and the drive to the house, Emmett and Rosalie, and occasionally the other two, asked questions about everything, even supplying me a little with what they had heard about her. I was evidently the only person she had been rude to, in one way or another. I was upset by this, but not nearly as angry as Rosalie had gotten.

"That little-! Ooo! How dare she! She just… does she think she's too good for you?! I'm going fuck up her face, then she'll know that you're too fucking absolutely wonderful for her. Damn whore for a bitch." Emmett had to grip her hand to get her to calm down. All the while I forced myself to swallow my growl and to keep myself from reaching back there and slapping the white off of her.

_"Rosalie… _She could have just been having an off hour. Besides, the twits at the table she was sitting at told her about the family's… strange relationships. It may have been that. She might consider us to be incestuous as well." This quieted her quickly. "There's probably a reason. No one just up and decides to hate someone just because they felt like it." I glared at the road in front of me, gripping the steering wheel tighter than necessary. "I'll just talk to her tomorrow; she might have been in a bad mood at the time. You know how annoying those girls can get. Tomorrow, I'll ask what was wrong and it will be… resolved." I hastily pulled into the driveway, nearly missing it, and parked with ease into the garage.

"Yeah, I guess so Edward. I hope you're successful with her… If she's really what you want." Rosalie almost sounded remorseful as she said this, as if she didn't want me with _anyone_ at all.

"Successful with whom?" All of us froze from climbing out of the car to stare at the man who spoke. Carlisle was home early from the hospital, or we were _really_ late.

"Uh… hi Dad?" I could tell my voice had taken a lazy tone, quite unlike me. My sarcasm had been noted by the doctor.

"I _asked_ who you mean to be successful with." His eyesight went from me to Emmett, who just happened to be grinning like a total moron that wanted to scream out a secret.

"No one Dad. Rosalie's just being stupid, like usual."

"Hey! I am not stupid!" She practically shrieked out her retort, it echoed throughout the large metal room. Everyone noticed the wince that I had given due to her being so close to my ear.

"Yes you are Rosalie. Only an idiot would screech in a room that will _echo_ their words. And if there's anything to talk about, it would be your grade in Anatomy." I glowered at her, keeping her magically down. I didn't know the _exact_ percentage she had, but, I knew it was below a sixty. "Why don't we talk about that then? Hmm? I'm sure Carlisle would simply _love_ to hear about it." Her cheeks puffed out, and she stormed out of the garage.

"Edward… I'll ask her about her grade later. Who's this girl you intend to be successful with? Please don't tell me she's someone you _only_ wish to have sex with." His face was so stoic; it was hard to imagine him serious about this subject. Better yet, I couldn't believe he was asking about my intimate life!

"Oh no… you see…" I felt two arms on either side of my neck, the muscle man to my right, the martial artist to my left. "Eddie here decided to grow some balls. He's discovered the wonderful-ness that is hormones. He's found the female body to be attractive." Alice giggled behind Jasper, who was smirking at the idiot Emmett that just happened to be talking, for now.

"Edward has a crush… on a girl too! Carlisle, you owe me two hundred dollars, he isn't gay." My head nearly snapped of my neck when I turned to glance back and forth between the two blondes.

"You thought I was a homosexual Carlisle?"

"Yeah." The doctor rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Damn it. Don't tell Esme, she's have a field day with this. Though she'd be upset that I was betting on one of our kids sexuality…" Alice giggled once more.

"I'm going to my room while I still had some dignity intact." I yanked my bag on my shoulder and headed to the door. Again, Emmett smacked my rear. "Ow! Damn it Emmett."

"He might not be a virgin for much longer."

My face turned all sorts of shades of red, mostly from embarrassment. "Shut _up_ Jasper! I'll stay a virgin for as long as I want."

"Which isn't long seeing the size of the package that was in your pants all through Calculus!"

"Alice!" I slammed the door behind me, stalking up to my room. Those people were such perverts. I could _not _believe Alice, out of all of them, was the one to say something like that. Ugh! Didn't people have filters anymore?!

Dinner had been nothing special, more chicken and leafy greens, just like breakfast. Thankfully no one mentioned my infatuation of Bella, though she was a discussed topic.

"Honey, did you know that Chief Swan's daughter came back from Arizona a few days ago? She just started here today." Esme obviously didn't know that I had a crush, and Carlisle didn't know that it was on Bella.

"Yeah, a senior boy was talking about her when he had to come get a physical. I think he said her name was Bella." Alice had managed to contain her giggles, though she received a strange look from Dr. Cullen.

"She's cute! Absolutely adorable Momma! I swear she has got the prettiest hair '_evah'_! She's just so precious. I wanna eat her up." For once, I was glad for the short girl's A.D.H.D. behaviors, although she didn't have Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder.

"Really now? Is she nice?" The first question was from the doctor, the second from the interior designer.

"I don't know, I don't have a class with her. Edward does though! He sits beside her in Biology II." Their attention went from Alice to me at her last statement, a smirk on Carlisle's lips.

"Well, is she?" I could tell that the doctor was putting two and two together to make four.

"I don't know, we didn't talk. She was really quiet. I heard people say things about her, most of what they said wasn't the most pleasant. But, it had nothing to do with if she was _nice_ or not. Rumors, and not the good kind either. Most of them were about her mother too. I don't think people have lives of their own to live." My grip on the fork in my hands tightened considerably. "People try to ruin other's lives simply because they don't have one and they're bored."

A long time ago, probably seventh grade, Esme realized that I grew upset when someone was _'trashed'_, so to speak, because they were different or strange or new. She had to pick me up from school when I had gotten taken to the office because I tried to bash a boy's skull into the times when he called Alice a 'mother fucking midget who fucks her brother'. He was a tenth grader who was visiting his brother in the school at the time. This was two years after the Hales had gotten here. The guy was lucky Jasper was sick with a cold. Jasper had been taking martial arts classes to help with his anger management issues. He was a rage filled youngster.

"Edward… you sh-" She stopped talking when I suddenly stood, jerking my chair back, and swiftly left the room, slamming the door behind me. I knew I was being rude, and a particular royal jackass, but I didn't care. I wasn't in the mood to deal with this.

I slumped onto my bed, glaring at the pillow beside me. I let myself fall sideways onto the soft thing, muffling my screams by it's fluffiness. I felt like a school girl who had just been told chocolate went from half a dollar to three quarters and a nickel. I was such an idiot.

Infatuation was a moronic atrocity. I fell asleep with that sentence in my mind. I didn't like Bella that would be absurd. I was simply curious about her. No crush, no heartbreak to come, just pure and simple curiosity.

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I woke the next morning, planning to confront Bella. Ask her what exactly her problem was. I wanted to get this over with as soon as possible. But, she wasn't there. Nor Friday. I wasn't able to clear things up with her; I wasn't able to fix the situation. She was a no show. Emmett was more upset than I was. He seriously wanted me to get laid, get the virginity thing over with. He wasn't a happy camper, neither was Rosalie or myself. I didn't know what to do, so I just moped about all day, night, and weekend. Annoying everyone.

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**A/N!: Edward: *****strikes a Johnny Bravo pose***** I'm so hawt. When I take off my shirt, girls get tans. *takes off shirt, and girls get tans* **

**This was in Eddie's point of view, obviously. Just incase you skipped to the bottom. **

**I listened to 'Mambo No. 5' to get inspiration while writing this… So, in retort to that fact, I say: "LOL!" **

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**Bella's too clingy. **

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**You know how Edward describes people's scents and tastes to flavors? I prefer the explanation in one girl/boy's story. It's utter love. 'Breathing In Sequence' by 'b rated romance'. It's James/Bella. I absolutely love this story (I've only been to chapter seven so far though). Her explanation to the way people are is compared to spices; it's in chapter seven, the first LONG paragraph, while it's still in Bella's view though.**

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**(1) When you have propane to heat your water, the hot water doesn't run out as long as you still have propane in the tank. Propane is wonderful, I have it.**

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**Bye-bye for now! **

**Review please.**

9


	5. Sugars, Spices, And Herbs

**Warnings: Mostly teen for language, sexual implications, and violent behaviors/thoughts.**

**Disclaimer: Guess what, this is **_**fan**_**fiction. **

**Pairing: Cannon couples sadly.**

**Genre: Romance, supernatural, drama, family, friendship, humor, hurt/comfort, **

**Summary: Bella knew this was wrong; she didn't care, not in the least. If she grew angered, instead of petting his face, she might rip off his head. She could kill him, completely by accident. But, she still didn't care. She loved him, that's all that mattered to her now. She had something to live for again. Role-reversal. **

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**Chapter Four – Sugars, Spices, And Herbs **

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"**You a fine mofo." – Talking**

'_**You gonna be my hoe tonight. '**_** – Thinking**

_**Whee! **_**– Emphasis**

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I hadn't thought there was anything _wrong_ with the human race, not the tiniest bit wrong at all. The human race was only… complicated and aggravating. Seriously, no other species was this… frustrating. I wasn't like my father; I didn't know what was in their heads. I didn't even _want_ to know what they thought; it would most likely be perversely disgusting. Humans… all in all, just simple minded creatures. They tried to accumulate knowledge that only came from such a long life; attempted to become the most beautiful object in all history – like Helen of Troy, one of our halfbreeds–; wished to be different, and were different, making them all exactly the same in the end, nothing was truly unique for them. Humans… we were like them in so many ways and yet so diverse. Just like earthen land, and the land that lived beneath the sea. We had houses and gardens, beneath the ocean had shelter in the form of sunken ships, and miles of seaweed and coral making it more beautiful to the appreciative eye.

Humans were like the earthen land, obvious and lovely, though a wasteland in some areas, but there to see all the same. Just naturally for you to see.

We, the vampires, were the underwater splendor. Our true nature was hidden from the naked eye, but there no matter what. We consumed things of seemingly never-ending trench; but, if that were possible, there would be no more water, nothing to hide us. So, we had a conclusion to stop our exposure, one that kept no one in the know except our own kind, and those that we allowed to even guess correctly our existence.

The elders of us, mostly the Volturi, knew what true pure blood was. The richest taste that we could ever indulge ourselves in. I met them once, the Volturi; I was a little under a hundred years of age. They stated that I had the most excruciatingly sinful scent they had ever known. Sure, my mother smelt of the pure blood they praised so much, as did I, we smelt of that purity that was only accessible through the hereditary lines of us. She was like I, only myself, they said, was so much more. She was a woman, and smelled like it, not a virgin in the least, and like the earth, lilacs I believe, it fit her. I, on the other hand, was still a virgin the day I was turned, and I would reek of it everyday, even when I lost it. Humiliating really, to be a year younger than three hundred and still never had been in a relationship before of _any_ kind, holding hands or the term 'boyfriend' to be applied in any form or fashion. And… I constantly had a stench of that always surrounding me. Along with lavender, innocence, newly bloomed sakura trees in Japan, plus the natural sweet scent that dwindles into a less intense odor as you age –a lovely light strawberry aroma to me now–, the heartache I had experienced from my human years, and the odor of the dead, as if I hung around in a morgue occasionally.

I was a virgin to many things: sex; intimacy; a first kiss; knowing a boy's appreciation of my body by a comment or singular blush… or numerous ones; a perverted remark that didn't infer that they would drag me and my best friend in an alleyway; laughing so harshly that chocolate milk rushes out of my nose; falling in love; skydiving; skiing; eating glue; dancing wildly to music that came from some sort of technology; and attending a modern concert, one that didn't require formal clothing or dressing as if you were to visit a 'five-star restaurant'. There was more, much more to what she hasn't been able to do in the past limited years. Many of my desires were unattainable because of my condition as a member of the undead community.

Speaking of being a vampire, I hated most of it, though it could probably be considered a blessing. Speed, strength, beauty, knowledge, eternally living among a life of death, damnation to Hell, no heartbeat, no tears to shed, quick healing, just how special could we get? Just add frozen skin to the mix, it's just a little bit. Note my sarcasm. But, I'm surprised people didn't get frost bite from touching our skin.

People didn't realize just how dangerous we could be. If I wanted to, I would be able to slaughter my entire school with just a few movements. No one would be there to stop me. It would be an impulse, no premeditated thought; my father wouldn't know what I was going to do. It would be, all in all, too easy.

I was, am, the perfect weapon. A hunter of absolution, it was something a human that lived with us in the Artic had called us. I could do extreme amounts of damage in minimum time. But, I wouldn't.

A skinwalker **(1)**, Trevar I think, that resided with the vampires in the northern land of ice, said we were like a reuseable bomb. We had the ability to destroy nearly everything we came across, over and over again, but our specific kind refused to.

We didn't want to be the monsters that made us into the vile creatures that we are. We didn't have the choice of becoming what we are. But… we would make sure _we_ didn't cause others to share our pain. We didn't want to make more disgusting things like us.

We are the dead guardians. We protected the living from the walking deceased. We would try to ensure their safety. I would defend them. I will shield the humans, including Edward, from their kind. Even myself.

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**A/N!: I enjoyed the first bit. Hello. **

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**(1) A skin walker is a werewolf, just an Indian name for it. **

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**Yeah, I think Twilight sucks. **

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**Bye-bye for now! **

**Review please. **


	6. Here We Go Again

**Warnings: Mostly teen for language, sexual implications, and violent behaviors/thoughts.**

**Disclaimer: Guess what, this is **_**fan**_**fiction. **

**Pairing: Cannon couples sadly.**

**Genre: Romance, supernatural, drama, family, friendship, humor, hurt/comfort, **

**Summary: Bella knew this was wrong; she didn't care, not in the least. If she grew angered, instead of petting his face, she might rip off his head. She could kill him, completely by accident. But, she still didn't care. She loved him, that's all that mattered to her now. She had something to live for again. Role-reversal. **

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**Chapter Five - Here We Go Again**

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"**You a fine mofo." – Talking**

'_**You gonna be my hoe tonight. '**_** – Thinking**

_**Whee! **_**– Emphasis**

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I couldn't stand this! It was already Monday and _no one_ in Forks had any _idea_ of where Bella could have gone off to or why she left in the first place. I knew. She thought I was the most vile thing to have ever existed on the face of this fucked and immoral Earth. "Fuck!" I slammed my right hand onto my car hood as the rest of the teenage portion of my family jumbled into my lovely silver Volvo.

"Oh get off it Edward. Life doesn't revolve around you. So what if she doesn't come back. If you're the reason, the life sucks worse than a gay leech for you. She might be legit about it though. You don't fucking know, so stop having a fucking elephant sized tantrum. You're being a fucking damn spoiled brat. Get the fuck over it. Build a damn bridge. You're being a bitchy cheerleader without her make up on and just say her reflection, damn." All of us, except the speaker of course, turned to stare at Jasper. Note-to-self: don't piss off Texas boys. They could kill you, especially when they have black belts in four different forms of martial arts. Jasper was working on his fifth and sixth.

"I… well damn… I…" I was nearly speechless with what he had said; he usually wasn't one to express his emotions in such a flamboyant manner of talkativeness. "I… damn." Petite arms wrapped around my waist, obviously it was a girl from the giggles. Alice. Sweet, adorable, innocent, and malicious Alice.

"Eds… Eddie… Ed-Ed." Great, she wanted something. "Jasper has a headache. He has to teach karate to four year olds this afternoon. Please don't aggravate him. I don't feel like keeping him in line. So, _please_ try to get along.

I nodded, forcing a smile at them both, trying to make her a little happier. It didn't work. "Alright." She strolled over to Jasper, grinning up at him. His mood didn't lighten any. A hurt look graced her face as she crawled into the back of my Volvo, scooting to the middle, squished between my two brothers. Rosalie tumbled into the shot gun, already starting on the last of her German IV homework that an 'incompetent' teacher that assigned them to do.

"Jasper, gerne. Sie machen Alice traurig." (1) They were of German decent. Germany was where they spent their first ten or so years of life. They were suddenly shoved into Texas culture. Jasper picked up the accent, behavior, and… well… Jasper simply became a Texan much faster and easier than Rosalie had, if she did at all, though they were only there for two years. Then we all went to Alaska, followed by a move to Forks a few months later.

"Leider haben." (2)

"Ihr sagen dass, nicht ich." (3)

I saw Alice smile; she knew they were talking about her. "It's alright Jasper." She patted his leg, worming her was into his lap and away from Emmett, who was behind me. Sitting between them was probably too tight a space for her to fit easily, plus she wanted to be closer to him anyways. He wrapped his arms around her waist, stuffing his face in her neck. They really were the perfect couple.

The rest of the drive to school was quiet, not disturbingly so, but, it was nice. Usually our mornings were filled with idiotic conversations and troublesome arguments. When we pulled into the parking lot, there was no ancient red Chevy truck, what a shocker there. No matter what my siblings said, I still believed Bella left because of me. They didn't see the glares she had given me, the harsh looks of undiluted hatred. They didn't know what she did to me, how she made me feel. Ugh… I sound like a love-sick puppy.

"Well, are you going to get out?" I snapped out of my little day dream to see Emmett standing outside of the car, looking down at me. He was a good guy. He's been there throughout my life since I came into the Cullen family, a hormonal big brother of sorts to me. "You really should stop your brooding. Momma is beginning to notice. Dad already asked me to find out what's wrong. What do you want me to tell him? That Bella isn't at school so you're being a pissy bitch? That you're having trouble dealing with your new found hormones? That you think you might be gay?"

"Choose one. The hormone ones seems the most believable, but he probably wants to hear that I'm gay." There was a point in time when I thought I was. Jasper is an attractive guy after all.

"Eh, I'll think of something embarrassingly wonderful to say by the time we get home."

"Whatever." I grabbed my things, heading into the school.

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It turns out that Bella had gotten to school sometime in the middle of first period because nearly the entire school was talking about her being tardy by the time lunch came around. Well… at least she hadn't disappeared completely.

"You can't bitch about her not being here anymore. She came back Edward." I growled lowly at Rosalie. What if someone heard? They'd think I was obsessed with someone I barely even knew. "So, your little crush can settle down." CRUSH?! I wasn't _crushing_ on Bella. She was attractive, and I wanted to jump her bones. But, crush? No. I knew nothing about her. I didn't have _crush_ on her.

I wasn't going to even bother with a response to her; she didn't deserve the time and effort of thinking of something properly. Mmmmm… In walked the girl we - or rather Rosalie - were talking about. Isabella Swan. My memory hadn't done her justice. I could hear my blonde headed sister complaining about her to Emmett. The girl couldn't handle competition for people's attention, and she definitely didn't like the fact that I concentrated more on Bella instead of her. Everyone thought that the two of us would wind up being a couple. But when Emmett had rescued her from some rabid dogs that had escaped from the kennel - they were about to be put down - they had become simply inseparable. Not that I minded much, I didn't want to have to put up with her narcissism for the rest of my eternity.

I want something like their love, like Carlisle's and Esme's love, like Alice's and Jasper's love. I want to fall into something that would tear my heart into tiny itty pieces if it ever ended. I want… I don't know what I want. I don't want to hurt from something that wouldn't last, for I won't be able to find something - or someone - that would look past all of my flaws to see what I might be able to give them if I try. But… That doesn't mean I don't want to feel that ultimate moment of perfect contentment. The exact timing of unexplainable bliss.

"Earth to Edward… You're staring at her. It looks a little creepy." Alice waved her hand in front of my face, giggling with a smile.

"Sorry… I was thinking about something." The dark headed girl sat back in her seat, going back to holding hands with her ambidextrous boyfriend. I began to eat on my limp salad with soybean chicken.

Our table went to talking about the winter art show that Alice was going to take part in; it was coming up in a couple weeks. Apparently she and Emmett would be taking Rosalie's car to school in the mornings so that she could get to work on paintings and stay late in the afternoons. She would be doing it herself, if she hadn't gotten her license taken away from her when she crashed her Dodge Charger into a tree.

My line of sight rarely strayed from Bella, I watched the way she conversed with the people around her, offering a strained laugh every once in a while. No one seemed to note that she didn't seem to feel comfortable around so many people, as if she were out of her element. She was probably a shy kid with only one person or two people to talk to when she lived in Arizona. Bella most likely wasn't used to all the attention everyone was giving her.

I barely noticed when the bell rang, getting up when the cafeteria was almost empty. I trudged along like most of the rest of the students did when it came to going to their next class. There was only one problem. I needed to face Bella, she had to sit next to me, right? I was the only available place, the only chair. So… This resulted in me wanting to bash my head into a brick wall, but I didn't. That would have been more embarrassing than the time my double dip ice-cream cone from Dairy Queen had fallen right on my crotch when I was twelve.

As I entered the classroom I saw that Bella was already in the same seat she sat at when she was last in here, and she was taking the notes that were written on the chalkboard. Approaching the table, she tensed, visibly trying to relax herself. I was right, she hated me, and I hadn't even done anything to her.

I had to make this better… I didn't know how I would, but I had to do it. Taking a deep breath, I became a man the best I could, exhaling slowly before just giving up completely, laying my head on the desk.

"Um… You're Edward, yes?" I jerked my head up, staring into the golden eyes of Bella. Strange… I thought they were black. Her voice… was delicate, of an average pitch, and softer than how Esme spoke to me when she was doing her best to keep from upsetting me.

"Y-yeah… And you're Bella? Or do you prefer Isabella?" I gave her a smile, doing what I was able to keep from simply jumping in my seat from joy.

A small laugh left her throat, face turning back to the board to continue her notes. "Bella shall do perfectly fine."

"And Edward will do for me too." She laughed again, light and airy. Bella tossed her hair over her shoulder, revealing no skin to me. Once again she wore a sweater that covered her neck, and gloves on her hand. What is she? Rouge? I wouldn't be surprised to find a few gray or white strands in her hair, too bad I didn't see any. What was she, afraid of being touched? My taste in females needed a bit of work if that was the case. Though, there could be some darkness in her past and here I was calling her some kind of an abomination.

"Do you think that… I… never mind." I raised my eyebrow at her words.

"What?" Curious, I leaned forwards, trying to get something out of her.

She smiled softly, obviously forcing it. "It is of nothing… I was speaking out loud without realizing it before I could stop myself."

Her excuse was flimsy, but understandable for most people. Even I forgot I was saying things to the air, at times looking as if I were insane. But, if what she said were true, she would seem embarrassed, not beginning to tense as she had the week before. When her eyes were like coal instead of shimmering Frosted Flakes minus the Frosted, or two almost glowing pools of gold. I preferred the latter comparison. "Did you get contacts?"

Bella's eyebrows wrinkled in confusion. "No... why?"

"Your eyes... They're different." She only smiled at me, shaking her head a little as her shoulders tensed even more.

The bell rang too quickly for my taste, and she was out of the room as soon as she had done the only other time I had been with her. And, once again, I stared at her in amazement. Also like before, Mike ran after her happily, like a little dog did after it's father or mother. It was disgusting to watch his infatuation, even though I knew that if Bella gave me the chance I would be doing the same thing. I would be the disgusting one, not him... Or maybe both of us would be utterly repulsive; it was hard to tell. Perhaps Bella preferred that, little love sick puppies that pursued her relentlessly, too far into a fake infatuation to realize that they had no real chance of gaining true affection from her.

I wanted to speak with her, ask her why she was like this. Today she had been nice enough, but then extremely rude. In the end, I knew I could make the Cowardly Lion look like the Terminator. I just didn't do confrontation. It all sucked major ass. Just about as much as I knew going home to my parents would be.

Sixth period was uneventful, filled with algebraic equations I knew from the previous year. We were still reviewing because of the idiots that didn't seem to be able to understand Trigonometry enough to even begin Calculus. Alice had tried to begin passing notes but, after a few she could tell that I wasn't in the mood for conversation, even the hand written kind.

The ride home was even worse. Alice kept staring at me, like I was something to study. It was getting annoying. Later, at home, Carsile kept questioning me. How did school go? Who was the girl I liked? My family, with the exception of Rosalie, was beginning to become a drag that I had never anticipated.

I just want to see Bella again.

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**A/N!: I know it's been a while, even I am disappointed with myself. It's just… there's a bunch of shit going on in my life right now and I'm having a hell of a time dealing with it. So… I'm not sorry and don't ask me to be. **

**Plus! I'm having to sneak online at school to put this up because my jackass stepfather cut the internet off. So, sue him. He's the ENTIRE reason behind all this. The crap going on in my life and not being able to update as soon as possible. **

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**(1) "Jasper, be happy. You are making Alice sad." **

**(2) "Sorry." **

**(3) "Tell her that, not me."**

**At least, that's what it's supposed to mean. I used English to German translators online. You never know what you're going to get with those things. It's like breaking into someone's house to explore a toy box. Or like a box of chocolates only not as… wonderful afterwards. **

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***hiss* I just don't think life's all that great. **

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**Bye-bye for now! **

**Review please. **


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